I was expecting a certain amount of aggravation and time wasted in border crossings, particularly in Honduras and Nicaragua.  But the ordeal getting the bikes into Honduras was beyond anything I could have possibly anticipated.  It was unbelievably ridiculous.  We left our hotel in Rio Dulce early so that we could visit nearby Casa San Felipe before making for the Guatemala/Honduras border at Corinto.  We arrived at the large brand new aduana complex at Corinto at noon after painlessly getting our Guatemala exit stamps.  It was a different border environment than the Mexico/Guatemala border entirely.  There were no beggars, transmitators (helpers), or currency exchangers.  There was a large empty sterile parking lot, freshly mowed lawn, and several immaculate buildings, most of which appeared to still be waiting for occupation.

We were directed to park our bikes in front of the vehicle inspection office.  Next I presented our passports and vehicle titles to the agent at the aduana window.  He went outside to match the VIN number on the documents and our bikes.  I was actually thinking that maybe this would be easy.  I was expecting a certain amount of corruption.  I had read acounts on the internet where people had paid anywhere from $20-$30 without getting receipts or any answers to as to what they were actually paying for.  The whole process was supposed to take perhaps 2 hours.  The posts I read on the internet also said that the customs officials would happily take whatever you had in your wallet.  So we had prepared ahead of time and only had about $20 each in our dummy wallets, plus a total of about Q200 between us.

The first sign of trouble came when the customs agent asked us for 1000 Lempira, which is about US$50, before the process could even get started.  I asked if this was all I would have to pay to get the temporary vehicle import permits for both motorcycles.  He said that that was only the fee here in Corinto, and that I would have to follow a random truck driver who happened to be there at the same time as us to Puerto Cortes where I would have to pay another US$77 to get the actual permits.  I couldn't imagine why I couldn't get the permits right there at the customs office.  Why would I have to pay L1000 here at the border, getting no documents in return, and then have to drive 65 km to Puerto Cortes, following a randam truck driver, to get the actual documents?  I thought surely this was some sort of scam.  I would follow this truck driver down some dark alley where his buddies would jack us and then everybody involved would share the spoils.  I insisted that all we had was $42 and Q200 and that I wanted the permits in Corinto, not Puerto Cortes.

The customs agent made some phone calls.  He said he was trying to get authorization to let us cross for less than L1000.  He told us to wait to see if we could get clearance.  I figured he was trying to get those higher in the bribery pyramid scheme to let us "only" pay what we had in our wallets.  We had been told by another gringo (with Guatemala plates on his car) that in the past he had paid $20 and been given all the required documents right there in Corinto.  Another driver said he had previously paid a $10 fee plus an $11 bribe to get through.  I still coudn't figure out what the L1000 was for, other than the right to cross the border.  It didn't help that no one working in the customs office spoke a word of english.  They would only speak Spanish, and they spoke it fast.  Still, I understood well enough what they wanted: L1000 Lempira now and US$77 more in Puerto Cortes.  And who knew if that was the end.

We waited about 2 hours before the customs agent finally came and told us that there was nothing short of L1000 that would get us across.  I said we didn't have it.  I told him we were students without much dinero, hoping he'd take pity on us.  He came back about an hour later.  He told us that at 6:00 PM, the border closes and the police quit manning the gate.  He said that the road block prevents cars, but not motorcycles from getting across at night.  He told us to wait until 6:30, and then ride our motos across the border under the cover of darkness.  It was then that I realized for the first time that maybe he was actually trying to help us.  Could it be that there was actually nothing in it for him?  He had certainly turned down our "offer" of $42 and L200.  Wouldn´t a corrupt official at some point pocket the money and let us through?

After having already waited over 3 hours and makiung zero progress, we decided to go for it.  We would wait another 3 hours until 6:30, and then make a run for the border.  I asked our sympathetic border agent if we would have "problemas con las policias".  He told us that $10 would be enough to avoid problems. "Corrupción" was his exact explanation.  Our plan, then, was to illegally enter Honduras with our motorcycles and hope that we wouldn´t get shot trying to sneak across at night and that we could bribe our way out of any difficulties. 

It occurred to me that maybe this was all a scam.  What if the border agent and the police were in cahoots and they´d have a check point a few kilometers inside Honduras where they would impound our motorcycles unless we paid huge bribes?  Maybe we´d never see the bikes again.  Still, I thought we´d be in the same position even if we paid the L1000 because we wouldn´t get any official papers after paying that either.

We waited until everything shut down.  Then we suited up and made a run for it.  It was a short lived dash for freedom.  The intelligence we had received from the border agent was wrong: the border crossing was manned.  And not just by a couple of police officers, but by 8 or 10.  Also, the road was blocked from one side to the other - it would have been hard to get around in the ditch with the bikes even if it had not been manned.  We stopped the bikes and I asked if we could pass.  They said the border was closed until 6:00 AM the next day.  I asked if there was any possible way to pass tonight.  Could I pay the fee right there and then?  "No es possible".  I explained that we needed to get to Puerto Cortes to obtain permission to bring the motorcycles into Honduras.  Would we be allowed to cross in the morning without permission?  I was told that we needed to get a "custodian" in Corinto first.  I asked what the purpose of a custodian was, but the language barrier proved too great, and I didn´t understand.
 
Thwarted after waiting at the crossing for over six hours, we left our bikes parked up against the chain across the road and went to buy some food from a stand half in Guatemala and half in Honduras.  Would we ever make it all the way into Honduras?  As we were discussing our options, a friendly traveler from Honduras who spoke fluent english overheard our predicament.  He had a conversation with some of the policemen who were on break on our behalf.

Apparently it is required by law to pay a custodian L500 for an escort to the immigration office in Puerto Cortes.  It seems that the custodian can be just about any Honduran.  Because there are two of us, we have to pay L1000, even though we only require one custodian for both of us.  So the L1000 fee to follow a random truck driver to Cortes hadn´t been a scam after all - it was official government policy!  He would have vouched for us at the border that we were actually going to report in at the immigration office in Cortes.

We couldn´t get back into Guatemala because we had stopped for our exit stamps.  We were caught in no man´s land.  The only thing to do was to sleep back at the customs office.  We rode back to the where we had been sitting all day and pitched our tents right next to the customs office.  At 6:00 AM when it opened, we would be the first ones served.  I´m not one for camping to be the first in a line up.  Not even for the opening of Lord of the Rings would I do something like that.  Who would have thought I would camp at the Honduras customs office for the priviledge of paying L1000 first thing in the morning so that a custodian could escort us to where the real process would take place in Cortes?

Little did I know that the hassle was just beginning.  It took an hour to get underway for Cortes in the morning.  We had to get forms stamped (for another $6) and a number of forms filled out.  We didn´t see any of them - they went into an envelope that would travel with our custodian.  It turned out that our Custodian was a friendly mute guy who we think works for the vehicle inspection office.  We think this because when the uniformed officer went for siesta the previous afternoon (and didn´t return), the mute guy was waving trucks through, and occaisionally looking in the back.

I thought he´d get into a car and we would follow him.  But then I realized that he would ride as a passenger on the back of my motorbike.  With no helmet.  He must have lept at the chance to blow off a morning of work to escort us to Cortes on the back of a KLR650, a novelty of a bike for Central America.  I still think the whole process is a bit unbelievable.  We were paying L1000 for a muchacho to ride on the back of my motorcycle to Cortes.

We got to Puerto Cortes just before 8:00 AM.  We were greeted by a friendly gentleman who spoke good english.  He said he liked to help the english speaking travellers with the immigration procedures.  At first I thought he was a "helper" looking for a tip.  But in hindsight I think he actually worked for the government and was just being friendly.  He told us to be patient.  He thought it would take at least 5 hours.  We had already waited a day, what was another 5 hours?  The process had to wait a bit to get going though.  By 8:30 there was still no one in the office that we needed, even though it was supposed to open at 8:00.  By noon, they were still not done.  And nothing would happen until 1:00 PM, because everybody left for lunch and the office completely shut down.

We would end up sitting outside the office in Cortes until almost 3:00 PM.  They took off our license plates and made copies.  They copied our passports and our vehicle titles.  On two occaisions, separated by several hours, I was asked to go the bank down the street to pay various fees (which actually amounted to $77 in the end).  We had to sign one form.  Finally, they gave us our temporary vehicle import permits.  It had taken the better part of two days to get them.  They gave us receipts for every fee that we had paid. 

It was then that I realized that the problem was not that the border officials were corrupt: it was that they were not.  I would gladly have paid $20 with no explanation as to what I was paying for to get through in an hour or two.  Instead we had to deal with a horrendous bureacracy that would have worked much more efficiently had it been corrupt.

Luckily the crossing into Nicaragua was wonderfully corrupt.  I had two kids helping me.  Here is an example of how it worked: they told me to pay the man behind the glass $26 ($13 per moto).  I took $11 (which was all I had left in my dummy wallet at that point) and handed it to the man.  The kids nodded.  The official pocketed the money.  No receipts or explanations as to what the fee was for were given.  Our passports passed to the next official.  They jumped a stack of 50 passports from two tour buses.  They were stamped.  Forms were were filled out.  The whole process, from start to finish took less than an hour.  I´m not sure what I paid for.  I had $20 in my dummy wallet when we started and Ted had $30.  Plus we had some Cordobas.  They took it all.  I don´t know how much the kids profited from us.  I don´t care.  The process was like a dream come true compared to entering Honduras.

We blew through Honduras and Nicaragua in a couple of days.  We spent last night in a cheap hotel in Granada, with the motorcycles parked right inside of course.  For supper we went to the most expensive restaurant we could find - a fancy hotel with an outdoor dining room overlooking central park.  The food was awesome.  I had two pina coladas and a glass of 12 year old Flor de Cana.  The total bill came to about $20.  I love Honduras and Nicaragua for the fact that if you have $20 in your wallet, you are rich.

There are some new pictures at www.kodakgallery.com.  Use tysonbrust@yahoo.com and password klr650.